How I met my wife.

Well, it was about 7 years ago.
I was sitting on the porch at my regular/favorite hotel.

Before i hit the road i sit outside and chill with some cold beers.
I always bring a cooler with me, which i keep stocked with ice.
One of the gardeners of the property, a guy that i have seen for about 2 years came over to chat a bit.
Marko, where do you go during the evenings?", he asked me.
Man, i just cross the road and look for someone cooking and music.
There are nice ladies to look at most times too, i said.

You need to come to the neighborhood mon, meet some reallocal folks"
Ok, cool, where's your car?
"Me nuh have No car mon, me ride de bike"
Gulp! A motorcycle?
Yeah mon, been ridin it forever.
Ok, ok,
I get off inna few minutes.
So, about 5-6 o'clock i met him in the Hotel parking area.
Mind the right side, only get on and off from the left.
That hot pipe will fry your leg!

So, i hop on and head off to the road.
Now, i had never been further than the bridge before.
We cross the bridge and things change.

There are just locals and a million taxis around the taxi park place.
We keep going and turn here, turn there.
Up this road and down that road.
Oh yeah, when i first got on I was holding the guy around his waist.
Dont hold me like that mon, use your hands low down around the hips if youo need balance.
Well, hecky yeah i need balance, soon I got the hang of it.
Looking out for pot holes and putting my weight on the foot pedals to ease the bumps.
Soon we pull into this little frame like house. It ends up that it is a shop and a lttlle double door frame house next to it.
I got off the bike and looked around.
My gardener friend starts talking and introduces me to the lady that runs the shop.
Red stripe, well cold for my friend he says.

So far,, this is pretty cool!

So this is how a local family lives.
There was a little house behind the shop.
Turns out it was a cook house with the stove and a deep fridge and stock.
Big bags of flour, and beans, oil, you name it, they sold it.
I went through the front door of the shop to check it out.
There is chicken wire all around except a window for making purchases. The walls behind the counter and wire are filled with everything you could think of.
Baby stuff, diapers, box juices. cookies, crackers.
They sell drinks, rum, beer and pops.
There is a scale hanging for the beans and flour and whatever needs weiging.
They even sold ice.
Water in plastic baggies, frozen of course.

It was like a dollar store, filled with goodies!
I walked around to the back just minding my own business.
I looked to my right and there she was!
Sitting on a milk crate.

She looked up at me (and I swear, there were stars in her eyes! The cutest Jamaican lady you'd ever want to see!

Slim and built just right (no, i'm not a superficial guy)
She was just drop dead gorgeous!
No make up, a little perspiration on her nose. Cute as a bug's ear.
There was a big blue plastic tub on the ground between her legs.
The tub was filled with soap bubbles, in the soap
were clothes.
This woman is sitting outside washing clothes by hand.

(gulp) Hi, i think i said, i don't know, i might have started to faint, but anyway,
Hi, i said, good night or good evening she said.

That was it. Love at first sight.
I turned around (because i know she did not want to be eye balled while working)

I walked back to the front and talked to my buddy the gardener.
Man, she's nice i said!

yeah mon, talk to her.
But, being a shy guy i just ordered another beer and stared from a distance.

The next day, same thing.
On the motor cycle, down the road, across the bridge, past the gas station, down another road and we were there.

I must have looked like i lost something.
My eyes were searching, i looked everywhere. Nothing.
Bummed, i walked back to the front and my friend said with a big smile on his face,
"she in the cook house"
Now, how did he know what i was looking for?

So, i walk over to the cook house and it has a window on the side that opens out like a door, starting at waist level.
There she was, chopping and cutting and peeling things.
Hi, she said first!
She remembers, she remembers me!
I guess i was speechless, "are you staying for dinner?

Man o Man, she washes clothes and cooks the family meal too?
Heaven, i'm in heaven, and my heart beats so, that i can hardly speak!

Sure, thank you. I'll stay!
Man, i was not goin anywhere. Wild horses could not have moved me.

I went back to the front, smiling and looking for something cold!

A couple of hours past and here she comes, with plates.
She gives out a few to her bro and sis and mom.
I sitting in a chair thinking "where's mine?:
She comes back with a tray, like the kind you would have eating in bed.
I had a plate full, and i mean full of curry chicken, red peas and rice, dumplings, the whole 10 yards.
I could have swept her up right then and there.

Talk about feeling like a king,
the kings of the world aint got nothin on this!

The Markospoon Ecology Club and my cadets!

This is what i intend to do.
I'm gonna go to Sav, i need to find a clothes store for small kids.
I'm gonna find baseball style caps-yellow.
Short sleeve cotton, polo style shirts.
I'm gonna start looking around my In-laws house , talk to the moms and dads and recruit boys and girls to be "00" members.
After school and homework is done, on the weekends.
Some kids dont go to school,
"i have work for you young man", its called learning.

Once i have about 6-10 kids, we are gonna march over to the Community Park, next to the craft market and i will teach all i know about ecology, how to take care of the beach and land.

Teach computer skills on my laptop.
Hey wait your turn, sit down, are you listening? do you want to learn?
Don't start no monkey business, I know where you live.

Maybe I'll have my uncle in law teach farming techniques too.

We will then get bags and start picking up trash with sticks that have nails or something to catch the paper.
Medical gloves (i saw a box of 100 count for cheap)

We will march up and down the beach.
Lunch time, they will be fed and given a likkle money for the morning work.

I'll take back the white shirts and caps, wash them and keep them until the next meeting.

If no cleaning to be found, i will teach them typing and computer skills.

I know, it will be hard, maybe we wont clean up a darn thing, but, to wear the "00" shirt and cap, they must keep their heads up! and, walk tall! not yell, not curse.

The mouths, "watch your mouth" first one to step out of line will be given a "nice" talking to and a 2nd chance.
Tell me about your home, your family
(by the way i intend to have nice conversations with the parents first)

We will not tolerate bad behavior while on these missions.

Now, my motives are for my own benefit.

I want a legion of young adults, on the right path, this way there will be 20-40 less juvenile delinquents to mess with this old man.

I know, "hard job", but if its easy, let someone else do it.
We are men, gosh darn it, MEN!

So if you see a man with a yellow hat, white shirt and 10 little ecology cadets, dressed similar walking with him,
its me!

Times Square shopping mall in Negril

I was just wandering down the road, nothin special planned.
Hmmm, what's the deal with this "Times Square" place"

It is right across the road from Bar B Barn hotel.
I think i will go in and check it out.
There was a man, sitting in a chair right before you go into the place. I guess he was security.

"good morning, he said to me.
Hi, i said as i walked by him.

I turned the corner and you see all these stores.

There are store that sell fine jewelry, watches and what not.

Theses stores look like the fine/expensive stores on North Michigan Avenue.
Man, i can't afford those kind of things, but i went in just for the H--- of it.

Theses might be some of the prettiest ladies you will meet in Negril.
They were well manicured, hair was impeccable.

Welcome, can i show you something?

This lady was beautiful, with a capital B.

Oh, i'm just looking, these watches sure look expensive.
"They are all duty-free, she says.
Now, i'm guessing that means no extra retail tax that we would pay in the states.

Very nice merchandise.

I have the one gold chain on my neck and that is all i want to wear.
There are about 5-6 stores all in a row, selling high end jewelry and stuff.

Further down you will run into the smaller shops, selling t-shirts and hats, coffee, Rum, dresses, bathing suits, etc. and a lot of tourist stuff.

It's a nice little change of pace kinda place.
Just to get off the road for a while.

A rainy day in Negril and nothing to do

It was the rainy season, but when you get the opportunity to get out of Dodge, go.


I woke up on my 3rd day in Negril and it was a beautiful outside. I cleaned up and
Jogged over to my fav breakfast place and ate like a King.

With a full belly, I took a swim then headed back to the room for a shower.
The bathroom has a window in the shower, with wooden velour blinds and a screen.

It's great, to take a shower and look outside at the same time.
So, i was bathing and i hear this sound.
"What the?

It was the rain falling. I finished my shower, grabbed a towel and opened the hotel door. It was pouring down cats and dogs. The kind that lets you know it would not end soon.

So there i was, all clean and nowhere to go.

I don't watch T.V. too much while on vaca, but, what else could i do?

I sat down clicked on the tube and started surfing the cable.

I found the Western Channel and my heart skipped a beat.

I love, not like, love, old cowboy movies, the ones in
black and white.

I looked over and saw that my ice cooler was running low on ice. 15-20 cubes left from last night and a lot of water. Looking down through the water and ice i could see a brown color.

Red Stripes! at least 3!
Man o man i was happy.

I got comfy and cracked the first cold one of the day.

I have learned to use a cigarette lighter to pop the top and i love the sound when you do it just right!


Nothing like a rainy day, sitting in your draws, watching Jimmy Stewart and his Winchester 57.

Shake your tailfeathers at the Jungle night club

Yeah Mon! We jammin now!
I hollered across the dance floor at my Bother. His first time to the Jungle.

He was dancing and had 2 girls at the same time.
Well, he's doing fine, So....

I decided to waltz over to the bar for a cold beverage.

The bar had turned into a crowd since my last one, so i bumped and grinded my way closer to the bartender.
He had skills and with the people all shouting at him, he still, got the drinks out correctly and in a timely manner.

The seats at the bar were all taken, but i see this lady start to stand up so i nudged my way, closer, closer, i'm almost there. Whew! Made it just as she was standing up.

I sat down and i had the bartender's attention now.
Vodka and ting on the rocks please.
Shaken, not stirred.

The lady that got up was a pretty thing. The mini skirt was so short i thought i could see one of her cheeks. Sweet cheeks they were.

So i get my drink and it is strong.

I pay the man and swivel the chair around to face the dance floor.

The lady is staanding and dancing in place.
The place was my left thigh.
What rythym, what moves she has.

Well, when a lady is rubbing on a guy's thigh with her thigh it's hard to keep quiet.
Hello there, nce dress.
Oh, thanks mon! She says!

I start drinking and she just a keeps rubbin.

Now, i was just sitting in my seat enjoying the music
All of the sudden her rear is between my legs.
Wow, is this what they call a lap dance?
It was very crowded as i stated before and i'm thinking know one is noticing what is going on as my temperature starts to rise.

Actually, no one cares what the hell you do in a club as long as your'e not fighting.

We start to talk for a while. She had such a sweet voice, so i ask her if she would like something cold to drink?.
(hmmm, i wonder if that was her way of getting a free drink)


Red Bull or some kind of energy drink she gets.

So, thats how she stays aware, while all of us with real drinks lose our minds.

I scout around the crowd and i see this man and woman dancing. Well, it was to the music, but it wasn't dancing.
If you can imagine 2 people having sex on a dance floor, doggie style, with all their clothes on.
Thats what they were doing.

The man must have been in great shape because he had her legs up, her back to him. around his lower abdomen for quite a while.

Soon as B.B.ing says, "the thrill is gone"
So, i get up and walk around and out to the upstairs part of the Jungle.

It's nice a cool up there. Not such a wall to wall crowd.

Some very nice looking females are standing in a group. They look like they are doing stategic planning for a beach assault on the downstairs.
Ah ha. So this is their base of operations, the 2nd level. They were in a huddle planning their line of attack.

I was wondering.
Where are all these pretty girls during the day?
Once in a while you may see a super fine women on the beach or road, but here there were scores of them.
All shapes and sizes. Looking good and smelling good.

I guest most young ladies stay in during the hot day or are at work or something. You sure dont see them out walking on the roads.

But man, let me tell ya, no place else can you find all those lovely ladies at the same time dressed to kill.

The jungle is a nice place with friendly people all around.

Going home the Chicken vendors are right there with hot food.

Watch out for the private taxi guys waiting outside.

They think you are so drunk, that you will pay $10-15 US for a 5 minute ride.

In conclusion, the Jungle is a nice place.
There is a second level with music too.
If you want to people watch go on a Thursday night. Ladies get in free.

We must find the soup man!!

Honey, darling, We must get some soup tonight,

Huh, wha, huh?

I was in bed, taking a nap.
She said,
Soup, i'm not feeling too good tonight.
There is the soup man, pon the road, i must find him tonight.

It was about 8, we had been out all day, and i was looking forward to some R&R.
Well, have a nice trip.
No, no, you gotta come with me.
Geez, Louise.
She ran in the bathroom and i heard the shower come on.

Man, she's serious. Oh well, i climbed my old bones off the bed and had a good stretch.

Well, since i'm up i might as well get ready, so i popped a cold one.
I'm Ready.
I opened the door, and looked out towards the road.
I could not see anything, but the sounds were more than usual.

After, what seemed like hours, she was ready.
She came out the bathroom looking like a million.
Are we going to a fashion show?
"You silly head," she giggled, come on.

We got to the road and started walking towards the Tree house.
There were vendors set up all along the road on both sides.
Yeah, this is Spring Break time.
These guys were not here this morning. Man look at all of them.
It was like a market.
Smoke and steam pouring out of the pots and grills all up and down the road.

Music thumpin, and bikes roaring. People all over the place.
She would stop, talk to some of the sellers about where her soup man would be set up.
Further down, mon. Further down,
Keep walking.
Grill after grill, all kinds of sizes and colors.
"best chicken mon, well fresh here mon.
This and that, they had it all.
Baby, he's not here, how far will we walk?
It's not far, (you said that 5 blocks ago)
so we walked, and walked, and walked.

THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS!

I could see about 5 big pots, lined up, steam just pouring out the sides and all over.
He had all kinds there.
I forget his name, i'm sure you all know him.

I can't remember the type of soup she got, but she looked so satisfied while eating it.
Are ya happy now, i said.
She just smiled, with shiny eyes.
Man, i should have gotten a bowl myself, I ran back and got the same thing.
The biggest soup pot i ever saw, steaming hot.
It was absolutely delicious.


It turned out to be quite an entertaining evening, glad i went after all.
When we got back to the room,
I hit the sack, told her not to mess with me, and i slept like a baby.

A scary bend in the road on the Westend!

Hey what's up Nick.
I called me driver earlier in the day to go out that early evening.
Man, my granny needs me to take her to Sav, so that will be an all day thing.
Hit me on the Cell, later, i may be back.


Oh, ok, see ya later
Yeah, lata mon. Click.
So, now what, Oh well, I'll go get me something to eat on the beach.
I head across the road over to Bar B barn.
So, half way through my early dinner i had a brain storm.
I'll go hit the west end, never been too far, but why not give it a try?

So, after dinner, i headed back to my room, across the road.

I had a few Red ones on the balcony and the sun was just beginning to go down.
Dusk, man this is great, the feeling, when the sun is setting is so nice. A natural type glow to the plants and everything.
So, to the road!
Beep, beep!
No mon, you are too full.
Thats the bad part about being at a hotel that's almost at the bridge.
Cabs are almost full.
Wait, there's one.
Beep, beep. i raise my arm and he pulls over, just 1 lady riding up front.
I hop in and he pulls off.
"i'm heading to the west end "how far Mon, i can take you, this is my friend, she rides where i go.
Oh, ok, well, i'm going to the Canoe Bar.
Yeah mon, mi know de place.
So we cross the bridge and stay close to the round about turn, then get over to head up the road, past the Mall/Plaza and Digi cell store.
I see some guys I know going in the China man store.
Zoom, we hit the curve and head up west end road! Hot Dang!
Soon, we are at the Canoe bar,
I give him a couple hundred and say later.
The Canoe Bar is empty, nobody there but me!
Can i help you? the bartender says.
A red stripe please.
I grab it, pay him, and walk outside, the ocean side and have a seat.
Man, this place is nice. The beer is Super cold!
You can really look around and notice the layout of a place when its empty.

It almost dark and i have a nice buzz going.
I walked around and waved bye at the chef guy, then out to the road.
Ok, now this way (to the right) further up the road.
I crossed over because there seemed to be some activity on the other side of the road.
Just some locals, hanging out. Most of the cabs that passed looked kinda full, so i just kept walking up the road.
Soon, i looked ahead and saw it!
A bend in the road!

Where is the side walk? That only looks like street!
I needed to think, so found a little stone wall, bout 2 feet high and copped a seat.

I watched car after car, make its way up the road, to that bend/curve and dissapear.
Next second here comes a car coming the other way.

Hmm, i know there are all kinds of spots/places up the road, if i just could make it around that corner.
VaZooom, there goes another car, VArroom, another.

Al of a sudden i see this big ass truck coming around the corner!
Man, that would be all i needed.
A big truck turning just when i trying to walk that way.

I sit a little while and it is dark out now.
I see 2 j-ladies walk past me, up the road and out of sight.
They made it!

So, i stand up, tighten the belt, and look at the monster of a bend in the road.
Man, if i could just see whats around that bend, just around the corner before i start!

I shake my head no! Not today!
So i cross the road and stand there looking back.
It still looks scary from this side too.
Soon, a cab was coming and i jumped in it and headed back down the beach road to my room.

Maybe one day I'll try that road on foot, but not tonight.

Markospoon's first trip to Jamaica and Negril

This is Markospoon from Chi town.
Started going to Negril 12 years ago. I have been back there about 18 times.
It is so much like a dream place for me. Swimming and walking are my favorite past times.

I first went with my girlfriend in 1998. We stayed in Mobay for about 4 days. I lady who lives in Chicago is from Jamaica and told me to come down to visit her when she was there. Her husband is from Chicago and built a house. So, one day I was listening to the radio at work and I heard a commercial for a Jamaic vacation. I booked the trip at 1-800-jamaica. So, off we were.

We stayed at the Coral Cliff Hotel on the Hip Strip. I enjoyed Montego Bay, It was quite an expierience and very different from Chicago, but my girlfriend could not get into the Island life. She was one of those people who need everything just right. So, on the 2nd day my Jamaican friend from the states recommended we take a day trip to Negril.

Never heard of Negril before, but why not I said. The ride to Negril was very cool to me. The scenery and the ocean on the side of the road was fun to me. Windows down enjoying the air.

We arrived in Negril about 2:00 P.M. went to Risky Business first. It started to rain and everyone came inside to eat, drink and be merry. After about 20 minutes the rain stopped and I walked on to the beach. That was when it hit me. Stillness, super quiet. It was a feeling that i never felt before. I am considered a loner by my family. Searching on my own and people watching turns me on. Right there and then I decided to come back without my girl the next time. I was back in about 3 months and stayed at the Bar B Barn Hotel.
I was so stupid that I came out my room, walked to the road and asked someone how do you get to the beach. If i had turned to the right from my room i would have been there. But, being a novice I walked to the road. I saw an old lady walking and asked her " how do you get to the beach?
She looked at me with a smile (probably thinking how can a person be so stupid) She said follow me. So we walked a few steps and went down a path between the Hotel. It was lined with trees and bushes and i got a little nervous. Where is she taking me i thought. The bushes and trees were kind of dense and it shut out the sunlight for a few steps.
All of the sudden things opened up and got brighter and I saw the water!
Oh, how pretty your first sight of the Caribbean looks once you get to the beach.
I saw people walking and swimming and having fun!

Been back 18 times. I have some more stories that i will share. Later

Walking the tricky street on the Westend of Negril

Hey what's up Nick.
I called me driver earlier in the day to go out that early evening.
Man, my granny needs me to take her to Sav, so that will be an all day thing.
Hit me on the Cell, later, i may be back.


Oh, ok, see ya later
Yeah, lata mon. Click.
So, now what, Oh well, i'll go get me something to eat on the beach.
I head across the road over to Bar B barn.
So, half way through my early dinner i had a brain storm.
I'll go hit the west end, never been too far, but why not give it a try?

So, after dinner, i headed back to my room, across the road.

I had a few Red ones on the balcony and the sun was just beginning to go down.
Dusk, man this is great, the feeling, when the sun is setting is so nice. A natural type glow to the plants and everything.
So, to the road!
Beep, beep!
No mon, you are too full.
Thats the bad part about being at a hotel that's almost at the bridge.
Cabs are almost full.
Wait, there's one.
Beep, beep. i raise my arm and he pulls over, just 1 lady riding up front.
I hop in and he pulls off.
"i'm heading to the west end "how far Mon, i can take you, this is my friend, she rides where i go.
Oh, ok, well, i'm going to the Canoe Bar.
Yeah mon, mi know de place.
So we cross the bridge and stay close to the round about turn, then get over to head up the road, past the Mall/Plaza and Digi cell store.
I see some guys I know going in the China man store.
Zoom, we hit the curve and head up west end road! Hot Dang!
Soon, we are at the Canoe bar,
I give him a couple hundred and say later.
The Canoe Bar is empty, nobody there but me!
Can i help you? the bartender says.
A red stripe please.
I grab it, pay him, and walk outside, the ocean side and have a seat.
Man, this place is nice. The beer is Super cold!
You can really look around and notice the layout of a place when its empty.

It almost dark and i have a nice buzz going.
I walked around and waved bye at the chef guy, then out to the road.
Ok, now this way (to the right) further up the road.
I crossed over because there seemed to be some activity on the other side of the road.
Just some locals, hanging out. Most of the cabs that passed looked kinda full, so i just kept walking up the road.
Soon, i looked ahead and saw it!
A bend in the road!

Where is the side walk? That only looks like street!

The Westend road does not have sidewalks, just stay away from the road.

I needed to think, so found a little stone wall, bout 2 feet high and copped a seat.

I watched car after car, make its way up the road, to that bend/curve and dissapear.
Next second here comes a car coming the other way.

Hmm, i know there are all kinds of spots/places up the road, if i just could make it around that corner.
VaZooom, there goes another car, VArroom, another.

Al of a sudden i see this big ass truck coming around the corner!
Man, that would be all i needed.
A big truck turning just when i trying to walk that way.

I sit a little while and it is dark out now.
I see 2 j-ladies walk past me, up the road and out of sight.
They made it!

So, i stand up, tighten the belt, and look at the monster of a bend in the road.
Man, if i could just see whats around that bend, just around the corner before i start!

I shake my head no! Not today!
So i cross the road and stand there looking back.
It still looks scary from this side too.
Soon, a cab is coming and i head back down the beach to my room.
Maybe one day i'll try that road on foot, but not tonight.

My brother finally came to Jamaica!!

I had arrived 5 days earlier. My best buddy and I headed to Mobay to pick him up. 1 hour after i saw many Chicago Tourist coming out here he comes.
"They sent me back to the beginning of immigration!!
Huh, why?
I did not know the name of the place i was staying!
Oh god, Red, (that's his nick name) Just make up a hotel name next time.
He told me that he finally dug around his carry on and found the Itinerary i printed out for him.

So, off we head to Negril.
He was tripping/amazed at the green plants and hills along the way.

We check in and he has the room right next to mine.
I had been there for 5 days and I had all the cutie pies covered like a blanket. (so i thought)

What do you think he does? As soon as I introduce him to one of the ladies, he's all over her like a cheap suit. Like white on rice, like... you get the picture.

She was just a laughing and trying to pit us against each other.
My Jamaican buddy, Nick, told him "Red, Mark saw her first"

It was so funny how easy a J girl can tease the hell out of ya.
He took it hook, line and sinker.

You see, my brother is the one with all the bucks. I just save and go. He saves and goes nowhere.

Finally convinced him after my first 10 years to come and check out Jamaica.

Well, he is a drinker, i mean hard stuff, all the time.
He has the kind of job that lets you guzzle all the alcohol you want, but don't dare come up positive for Ganja during a routine test.

He's not that bad, but a first timer, drinking Rum, beers and whatever all day can be a handful.

Once I lost him and ran all over the place trying to find him. He was in Times Square buying things.

We went to the Jungle on Thursday Night. Ladies night.

I was wandering around, taking in the sites when he comes up to me and says Mark,
"look what i found!"

I thought to myself, "you mean what she found"

Fun was had by all and we left the place around 2 AM.

My buddy says "we need to stop for gas as soon as i take you top your room.
As soon as we get in front of our hotel the car conks out. No gas. So my brother and I stand outside the hotel on the road while Nick hops in a route taxi and goes for gas. (he had an old bleach bottle in his trunk)
He came back and said the Gas station was an all night place, but he had to wake the guy up for service.
Nick asks us if we want to go to Scrub-A-Dub. It's an after hours strip club in Negril.
I say Nah, I'm sleepy.
So the 2 of them head out that way.

The next day i just checked to see that he was in his room and left him there. He didn't get up until about Noon.

So we are walking around and guess who shows up at our hotel?
The same lady he met at Scrub-a-Dub.

A visit to Orange Bay, close to Negril

It was early and my friend said she had to go home to babysit her little sister.
Ok, see you later.
But, aren't you coming over for dinner tonight?
My mom would like to meet you!
Sure, I'll be there.

So off she goes.
Now i can kick back and chill awhile.
Soon my Jamaican best buddy called and said "Do you still want to go up to Orange Hill?
Whoa, i had forgot all about that.
Sure, why not.
So an hour later he pulls up in his ride and we sit awhile on the porch of my hotel.

He says he wants to go check on his friend that makes a killer crab dish.

So, we start to drive and he is zipping right along up the roads and down a bit. (seems like a curve road that sinks then rises a bit) Man, there are some nice properties in Orange Hill.

The chef man does not have crab today, only Curry Chicken.
So, we order a plate of the curry chicken and guess who pulls in with a brand spanking new BMW?
The owner of the Hotel where i was staying!
I had met him many times, but never bumped into him off the property.

He nodded to me and I nodded back.
Oh yeah, my buddy says, this place is popular, you never know who you will see.

Its was cool how he opened the door but did not get out the car.
All the locals surrounded him talking and laughing and eating.
He's known as the "big man"

You could tell that when he spoke, the rest shut-up and listened.

Orange Hill is up high a little bit, and very calm and smooth.

So, we ate the curry chicken and then i remembered that my friend was cooking dinner that night.

Well, i must save room for later, but it was so good i wolfed it down, all of it.

With full bellies i asked what time it was and was told, its early Mon, 5-6 maybe.
How time flys when you're in Jamaica!

Uh Oh, i'm late!

Even though its Jamaica, my word is my word.

We jump in the car and head towards Orange Bay.

Orange Hill, Red Ground, Orange Bay, Green Island-l Iove these colorful names.
Its just before you hit Negril, i think.
There are these little houses, in a tract, all built just the same.
My buddy tells me about those little houses and how much one cost, real cheap, but my girl did not live in one, hers was a regular board house up a hill a bit.

I called my friend and she meets us on the road. I bid farewell to my driver and we walked down a lane.

Now, don't pay attention to the loose pack of dogs we will pass she tells me.
Huh? pack of dogs?
Yeah, "they are always there, but i just ignore them and look away, like they aren't there". They wont bother you. (famous last words)
Okay, if you can do it, i can do it.

So we start to walk a little more and there they are.
You can tell the leader because he/she stands very erect, looks at us and starts barking first.

She grabs my hand and we just keep walking down the road.

They act like they are protecting the yard they are in front of.

5-6 little yellow and brown dogs.

I was so glad they were small ones, i could kick the S--- out of them if i needed to.

I was not scared, still, i did not look at them like she said.
I remember that some dogs take it as a challenge if you look them straight in the eye!

Now that i think about it, i had a pretty good grip on her hand though. Why? i don't know, but i held on like it was important.

They will follow you, barking for about 20-30 feet and then back off.

I was glad to get into her house.

I meet her mom, little sister and little brother.

I must remember to bring some of the little toys that i always bring to Jamaica. A toy car is always nice for boys.

The little man was about 2-3 yeara old, i wont forget you next time my little brother.

When i get around kids i start to play with them and forget the adults.
My girl was looking at me with that "what a good dad he would be" look in her eyes.


After a while she says stop playing, have a seat, dinner is ready.

Wouldn't you know it. More Curry Chicken!

I made a valiant effort to finish, but i was just too full from the Orange Hill dinner.

She looked disappointed that i wasn't eating it all, but i explained about the prior meal.

She said she would wrap it up for me.

We sat and talked a while.

I called my driver and he was on his way.

She reminded me that we have to walk back again, past the guard dogs.

OK dokey, no problem.

I was just hoping they could not smell the chicken that i would be carrying back down the road!!

1st solo trip to Negril!

When you wake up on your own, no alarm clocks, you feel better.

Working in office buildings, no windows, or one that faces another office building is all you have to look at.
8 hours a day.

So, there i was, sitting in my little cubicle on the 25th floor of a Chicago, downtown highrise office building. (sounds like a monster dosen't it?)


Good morning William, to the security guard in the lobby and into the elevator with the crowd.

do de doo do do, here we go.

Morning Carol, hey jim, mornin bob, did ya check the game last night? That Michael Jordan was on fire!

Hi Karen, whats goinn on Dave.

To my desk.

20 some years of this, man i need a break. A BiiiG break

We were allowed radios if we kept them real low, or used our head phones.

One day i heard "Come to Jamaica, the Jewel of the Caribbean"
Hmmm. that sounds nice, Went to MoBay once with a girlfriend, (and had a day trip to Negril) but i was dying to get to Negril for a week by myself.

I wrote down the number and ended up calling 1-800-JAMAICA.

The customer service lady took real good care of me.
She said that they do checks on the hotels and she had found a nice one named Bar-B-Barn.
Small, NON-all inclusive, but they have a restaurant and bar right on the beach.

That sounds cool.
Book it, Dano!


Landed at Sangsters and when i was about to step off of the plane i got that smell.



The plane was sitting a little back from the building.

A stairway was rolled up to the plane and you walked out and down the steps and a little ways to the building.

The ladies were singing the "Welcome to Jamaica" song.

Went through immigration and got suitcase and started looking for the JUTA BUS service.

I found the desk and said
"I have a reservation going to Negril"

OK, fill this out, put your return date and wait just a bit.

I think the Hotel transfers were paid ahead of time, but maybe i paid the money 15 or 20 bucks.

Soon the employee grabbed my suitcase and said follow me. We went outside and he showed me to the bus.
He looked at me with the "where's my tip" face and body language.
Geez, i could have rolled my suitcase those few yards to the outside.
Oh well, I gave him a little money for his troubles.

Now, the bus driver says "whats up Mon, welcome to Jamaica Mon. I'm your driver.

We will have to wait for a couple of other riders, but it wont be long.

That's fine, it was hot and i'm still looking all around at the little mountains and hills around the airport and that's when it hits you again.

I'M IN JAMAICA! This is great!

As soon as you are out the Airport, all that concrete jungle kinda of thinking leaves my mind. I realize, there are different rules to life in the Caribbean.



I get a real good seat on the bus, close up to the driver so i can ask questions on the drive to Negril.

So, i'm sitting in my seat and i realize, hey wait a minute.
The other riders might not get here for a while

Why am i sitting on this bus?

I jumped off and stood in the bus parking lot looking all around.

Many drivers were talking and smoking waiting for their turn to drive the next load to Negril.

15-18 of the orange, blue and white buses Juta use to have are everywhere.

Soon, 4-6 more people arrive and the same guy that got the money from me is pulling their suitcases too.

The guy told me that i was going to be the last one getting off, so he made sure my suitcases were on the bottom.

We're off!
On our way to Negril!

First time taking a bus to Negril was very cool.

Montego Bay seemed very strange and different compared to Chicago.

Beautiful people, mostly Black people, everywhere, walking along the roads, selling items at little stalls along the highway.
So different, so alive! You could feel the electricity in the air!

When you are in a place that does not operate with the big city mentality, you can feel the differenc in the air.

The drivers are giving us tourist bits of history and pointing out places of significance.

"Here is where they made this movie, and that movie", the driver would yell out when we passed certain spots.

Oh, that's cool, i had forgot about all the movies made in Jamaica.

The water on the right was glimmering with sun light off the bluish green water.

I wanted him to stop the bus so i could jump in.
Patience, Mark. You will be there soon enough.

The little town of Lucy was a trip.
It started getting kinda of congested and the driver says this is Lucea, see that clock? It was supposed to be brought to St. Lucia maybe 40-50 years ago, but the pronunciation got mixed up somewhere and it arrived here.

Lucea was bustling and very busy looking. Vegetable markets and fruit and taxi stands, stores, restaurants, the works.

Jamaicans walking all around, doing their thang.

Wow, this is nice, real nice!


Soon we are in Negril and the other tourist start to get off at some real nice places, i can tell they were spending bucks.

I'm the only one left on the bus, so i ride shotgun next to the driver.
We had a real nice conversation before he dropped me off at the Bar-B- Barn Hotel.

I checked in, and the lady at the reception desk asked me "would you like me to show you to your room?

Sure, i said, we walked about 30 feet and she said here you are!

I hurry and change to my shorts and hit the road.

Hmmm, now where is the beach. I took about 10 15 steps and saw an older woman, and i asked "excuse me, how do you get to the beach?"
I'm going that way now, follow me she says.

We make a left and start down what looks like a curved driveway with tall bushes on both sides.
a couple of steps and you cant see where you entered the drive way, nor can you see the end.

Oh, this is great, i am following this lady into what i thought was some kind of Jungle.

I was thinking that some one could be hiding in the bushes right there, and over there, behind that tree!

I keep walking and it opens up and I see water! The prettiest blueish green you'd ever want to see.
Funny, from the road, you don't know how close the ocean is until you head towards it.

I get to the beach and its like the whole world just opened up for me.

I look to the left, to the right, nothing but sand and water!

I start walking, take a few steps to my left, staring at the water and
"I'm back at the Bar-B-Barn Hotel", what the?

Oh, i did not realize that i could have come out of my room and went to the "right" and i would have been on the beach.
Duh!


Very nice place.
Great bar right on the beach. Thick solid wood, polished. Cable T.V.
Wow, some one really took good care of this bar.

It was hot that day, but i stayed on the beach walking for quite a while.
The beach guys were trying to sell their wares, left and right.

No thanks, Thanks, but no thanks.
NOTE: Don't buy unless you really want to.
Don't feel sorry for any able body adult male.

There are enough "wee ones" that could use your charity if you so decide.

I walked all the way to the end and I'm about to turn around and I see a man calling me.


He says " I will tell you about my country, the History"

Now, that could be interesting.

I walk over and i find myself behind the craft Market, right along the river.
His Name is Ringo, AKA The mountain Man.

Dread locks and beard.

His family owned the peice of land. right there on the beach. He has a log fire going and he says it never goes out. 4-5 logs touching at the ends like spokes on a wheel. the middle smoldering.

Many a Lobster and fish have been cooked there through out the years.

He had a little store/shop and a deep freezer.
The coldest Redstripes around.

He opens it and I see 10-12 tails of a fish called Bonita standing up. That's gonna be good eating!

So we sat and talked for hours.

Now, he is my other best buddy in Negril. A nice place to cool out away from crowds.

Now his place is among the hard core fishermen at the end of the beach.
A real Jamaica experience for sure.

Hurricanes while in Jamaica

I was there and lived to write about it.

The skies were a weird color and most places shut down.

It was funny driving with a little rain and light green,orange and purple colored clouds/skies at 1:00 PM.

I called Negril from home once during Ivan, I did get through and it sounded like a movie. You could hear the winds through the phone, alot of yellin and babies crying.

I told my friend to "HOLD ON!!"

She was in a Markospoon - which hurricane were you there for?

Rastagirl777-It was the one that came directly after the first. Like back to back. Dennis and Emily i think.

I was so glad the week before i left that one had just passed. Ahhh, smooth sailing now.

I did not even know there was a hurricane coming.
I woke up saw dark clouds and thought "oh, a little rain this morning"

I walked to the front desk to check out, and one of the staff ask me how was i going to get home? I thought she was joking so i said "backstroke" all the way. Why do you ask? She said the airport was closed.

Huh? What? So i called the airlines and they confirmed it.

Funny, nobody on the island that i was partying with even mentioned that a hurricane was coming.

Air J said they were not able to book a seat for me for like 3-4 days away.They said i could go to Sangsters when it opened and try to fight hundreds of people for a seat on stand-by i guess.

Hmmm, maybe a thousand people are stuck like me. No thanks.
So i called my boss at work and explained the situation.
They were pissed off.
You see, i always stretch my time as far as it can go. I was expected back at work the morning after i fly home.


So, the manager/owner of the hotel said
"no problem, you come here every 6 months. Pay us when you get back."

Sweet, 6 more days in paradise.
I had enough cash for food and beers!!

It was kind of strange. No sun for a couple of days. People still driving around, getting on with their lives.
Man i love Jamaica!

There was a quiet somber to Negril that week.
I good time to meditate and self reflect.ement house, so all was well.

Missblue, sounds like you were right there with me.
The colors, the sounds. The shear power.
It comes from somewhere.

I sometimes feel that it is a way of the almighty talking to us.
Communicating.

He/she says "i'm here, do you understand that?

Feel me, Watch me, watch me grow!
Its nature at its best (in a way)

I get a feeling of like tunnel vision, but all over my body.
Fantastic.

Living here on the shores of Lake Michigan, we get some strong winds. The lake front is lined with these giant boulders and the crashing is something to behold.

I was a shop keeper in Negril!

My friend, who has a little shop/place on the beach needed to go to the store to stock up.
Mark, i must go downtown.
I'm runnin low on this and that.
Stay here and don't let anybody in, except tourist.

Whoa man, i made it!
I am a shop keeper!
Sure it was only 1 hour, but i was in charge.

He has a place behind the craft market.

Beer, cigarettes,sunglasses, hats and trinkets, you get the picture.

He has a deep freezer, that is stocked with Lobsters and Bonita fish.

He cooks out on the beach everyday.

Always has a fire going.

He has wood carvings and other stuff to sell.

Often we sat eating lobster and Bonita and rice and veggies.
It was early, maybe 11:00 AM

He put on his "going to the store clothes" and off he went.

All he ever wears are cut off jeans, that's it.

I had the tunes bumpin and Red stripes flowin.

When i saw some "tourist" people walking the beach, i made a valiant effort to entice them over.

Now, if he would only stay gone 2-3 months, i would be happy.

I could call my lady friends to help out and cook, call my driver Nick, to pick up and drop off people.

Go to my mom-in-laws store to pick up supplies.
She goes all the way to Sav for her supplies.
I'm sure she could take my list with her.

About an hour later, he came back, looked around and went into the shop to put up the supplies.

So, how was things, he asked?

Fine, except,
You came back 2 months too early i said.
We both had a good laugh over that.

A nice day at the Westender Inn

Woke up to an excellent morning breeze this day.
I had my breakfast and decided to go on an adventure. I hopped in a private charter taxi and headed to the deep west side of Negril.
I was going to chill a while at the Westender Inn. The drive was nice, like a mini tour of the west coast.
You can see fields spread out and nice views of the back country.
We arrived in a little, i told the driver i will see him later. He offered me his cell phone number in case i needed a ride back to the beach.
I looked around and headed to the dining area and pulled up at the bar.

My god this would be the best place in the world to have a nice private party or wedding or something! This place is grand.

Music, something about music just sets the mood and relaxes/excites me. Funny, only in jamaica can I be relaxed and excited at the same time. Its wonderful!

There was a mixture of smooth jazz and light reggae going on.
Heaven, I'm in heaven, and my heart beats so, that i can hardly speak, and I seem to find the happiness i seek, when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek!

I ordered a ting and vodka on the rocks and just took a deep breath and relaxed. After a while the bartender asked me was i ready for another one. "you darn tootin I am".

So peaceful and relaxing the Westender is, compared to the beach and the other part of the westend.

This place has scenery, something cool to gaze upon and dream.

After a while I felt like walking, so i crossed the quiet little road to the cliff side of the Westender Inn and chilled out on the rocks.
It is set up really sweet on the Cliff side at the Westender Inn and the waves were hitting the cliffs in a soft kind of way. Not too loud at all. Just enough that you know they are there.

After 15-20 minutes of just sitting and watching the water, i headed back to the bar area.
Soon a couple, that was staying there sauntered up to the bar and we all said hello.

They were staying long term in Negril.
A fruit man was supposed to be coming to the Westender Inn about Noon.

After a couple of drinks this pick-up truck pulls up and it is loaded with the freshest fruit and vegetables you have ever seen. There was still soil attached to some of the roots.
The couple i was chatting with stood up and walked over to the paring area and started "grocery shopping" for the up coming week.

A man and his wife got out of the truck and i watched him weigh the food on a portable scale and bagged up the veggies and fruit. All kinds of stuff, green, red, purple, yellow vegetables. It made me wish i had a room with a kitchen.

I felt lucky to be there and bought a few items myself.
The honey bananas were so cool and small, i should have bought a dozen.
After a while a Taxi driver pulled in and started asking if i had ordered a taxi. I said no, but i would soon be leaving.
He was a little upset and got on his cell phone, made a call and found out someone had given him the wrong hotel name.

I finished my drink, said my good byes and jumped in the taxi.

Soon we were cruising down the road, i was feeling no pain.

Mary's Bay Boat Yard

I called Nick,
all that swimming and "dancing" made me hungry.
It always does.

So, soon, Nick pulled up and we were headed back to the Beach.

Man, I'm starving,
I know Mary's bay Bar/Restaurant is around here someplace.
There it is.
So, Nick dropped me off and said he has another pick up, and will be back.
Cool, later mon.

I walked up to the place and saw about 5 people sitting and chatting.

Funny, they all turned thier heads at the same time and looked at me when I walked up.

Oh, i better say something.

"Scotts Al?"

This guy, who was behind the bar, spoke up.
Aye, That's Me.
Hi, I'm Markospoon.
Well, i'll be.
He ran around to my side and gave me a hearty handshake.

Now, imagine, a bright blue eye, Scottish man.

A Highlander, from out of the past.

Such a jovial character, every word he spoke bellowed a Scotish character, straight out of a novel.

Remember Scotty, from Star Trek?
But a deeper, real accent.

Aye, Marko, you said you be stoping by, good to see ya laddy.
Yeah, mon, i was determined to stop by.

I found a seat, and Scots Al, kept the words flowing, he has to be a great story teller with that voice.

Now what can i make for ye.

Now Al, you know I heard alot about your Serious Burger man,
lay one on me.

Ok dokey, i'll get right on it.

Mary Bay's is right next door to the Sue's Easy Rock Internet Cafe
(If memory serves me)
Right on the water.

Scots Al was in the Kitchen and a charming lady prepared my table setting and asked if i'd like something to drink.
Red Stipe, please.

A couple of people, looked like Americans, or Canadians, or Europeans were hanging out, ex-patriot types, obviously regulars at Mary's Bay.

Soon, Scots Al came out with the order.

I hope you enjoy it Marko!
That accent again. Very cool.

I always cut my burgers in half to start.

I like eating them that way and i can get a good look at the insides.
I did not tell Al how i wanted the meat cooked, but it came out perfectly to my liking, done, but still juicy.
The first bite had me hooked.

The meat was very tasty, A real burger in Jamaica.

He had Bacon, onions, mushrooms and cheese on it.

I did not need, nor ask for ketchup and mustard, his burger was a work of art, all by itself.

Fresh cut French Fries, the old fashion way.

Man o Man, after 5-6 days of eating J food, this was right on time.
I took my time, enjoyed every bite.

I was sitting back, Al came over and told me a likkle story about people that clean the plate like i did.
A likkle TLC mi always put in the food, he said.

I could tell.

The burger was exactly like a home made, in the kitchen, good tasting down home burger.

I had ordered a 1/2 Serious Burger, not knowing what they were like.
It is a one beef patty sandwich.
I should have ordered a whole one, with 2 patties of beef.
It was so good, and Markospoon knows a thing or 2 about Cheese Burgers.

So, i sat there, being a likkle slow, Scotts Al and I chatted, he told me stories of adventure in the sea.
He scuba dives, and i was captured by his story telling.

After a while, I bid my farewell, and promised i'd be back, with friends.
I was back 2 days later.

If you need a change of pace, and want to talk to a real Old school dude, a Highlander from Scotland,
Stop by Mary Bay's, kick back and enjoy.

I did, and will again.

So here's to you Scotts Al!

Get those serious Burgers ready, i'm coming back mon!

If I could stay for 2-3 months at a time in Negril

There I was, staying on a Tropical Island for 1-2 months at a time.
Gotta stay busy and be productive.

Time to give back.

I'm gonna start a Ecology Club in Negril.

I gotta get some T-shirts and caps for the youths of Negril as uniforms.

Last time I was at my inlaws house, there were kids all over the place hanging around, with nothing to do.

Gosh darn it, i'll give them something to do!

We will walk the beaches, and look for something to accomplish.

A field trip was the best thing about going to school when I was young.

We can have meetings on the weekends at the Public Beach Parks.


We will be on the laptops, studying a little biology.
I'll get a microscope and a telescope.

Hmm, I gotta get a Boy Scout Handbook.
We can make kites.

I can teach them all to swim as good, if not better than i can.
(i swim very well)

Well, i'm gonna need a name.

Spoon's Eco Scouts?
Marko's Eco Scouts?
Marko's Eco Cadets?

I'll find one of the good kids or 2,
confident lads, natural born leader types.

I'll make him a Sargent Major, then have a whole bunch of corporal cadets.

I gotta get those T shirts and caps made.
Yelow and green should be good colors.

Attention!
Get your fingers out your noses.
We are on a mission.
Sargent Major, prepare the scouts for a march at 1300 hrs.

Bun a cheese as rations, a juice box too.

(later in the day i'll treat them to chicken and rice, makes the belly nice.)


So, if you see a man marching around with youngsters wearing yellow caps and green T shirts, give a hearty shout!

My Ecology cadets in Negril

You want what?

Your Bus,
We are heading to Half Moon Bay.
There is a plant farm, they grow the sea grsss plant.

Planting sea grass will help the beaches stay strong, prevent erosion, not wash away the sand when the rough seas come.

Well mon, it's gonna cost you.....
"Horse feathers", I'll tell you what.

See that group of tourist?
There are 5 of them.

I can convince them to use your Red Plate bus when they want to go to Mayfield Falls.

Would you like that?
Yeah Mon, Yeah Mon!

Well then, here's a little something,
go gas up and meet us at the Craft Market by the river.
1300 hrs.

Yeah Mon, No problem mon.

SARGENT MAJOR! Yes Captain!

Rally the cadets, we depart in 30 minutes.
Hand out the uniforms and get them in line.

Aye Aye Captain!

Pardon Me mam,
Welcome, what can i do for you.

You see those kids over there.
Yeah mon, I see them.
Well, we are heading to Half Moon Bay on a mission.
But we need sustainance.

Sargent Major!
Sir, yes sir!
You and the lads get to work cleaning the yard, take these bags, use this rake.
I want this place ship shape before 1200 hrs.
Yes sir!

That pot of Brown stew chicken looks mighty fine.

You know an army travels on it's stomach.

Pardon me business man about town,
how long have you had this store.

Well Captain,
"10 years and running now".

Well,you see those kids,
the ones you see walking up and down the road, cleaning and helping old ladies cross the street, those are my lads, and they are thirsty.
Do you suppose that you could give back to your community?

You will be imortalized with your kindness and reap rewards 10 fold by helping to uplift your neighborhood.

Well, juice boxes cost money. How will I.....
There's no I in Help.

Your name will go down with the legends of Negril.
You will be held in the highest esteem among the business owners, you will.....
Ok, Ok, enough Captain!

How many Juice boxes do you need?